Tipping point

In March this year I left my job as a journalist after 13 years. It was both the hardest and the easiest decision I have ever had to make.

I wanted to work for a newspaper ever since I was a teenager, and I was never prouder than when I made it happen at the age of 22. I moved across the country to take the job, and in the newsroom I met some of the best friends I’ll ever have, including the fella who is now my husband.

For many years I loved that job and everything it brought to my life. But things don’t stay the same for long. The industry is in the midst of difficult times and all print journalists are facing changes of one form or another.

I knew that it was time to move on. That was the easy part. Systems to simplify newspaper production had taken much of the creativity out of my role and I had become frustrated. The hard part was letting go because, however much you know you need to make changes, it’s easier to allow things to stay the same.

Almost two months have passed and I am still adjusting. I promised myself some time to really think about what I want to do next, but it is hard not to feel guilty about ‘not working’. I realise I have become institutionalised – I just can’t shake the niggling feeling that I ‘should’ be out there, working eight hours every day and earning money.

But it’s really important to me to make the right choices, ones that will support my desire for a simple life for me and my family.

And it’s not easy. Every parent I know is an expert at juggling. You see it at the school gates, swimming lesson drop-off, football practice pick-up, dance shows, doctors’ waiting rooms, supermarkets and birthday parties. Nice work, parents! Keep those balls in the air!

One of the best things about my job was that it allowed me to pick my kids up from school. This means the world to me and I genuinely did appreciate it every day, even though it meant my working day started very early.

So, as I search for a new challenge, this question (among many others) floats around my mind: what if I find a job that is otherwise perfect for me, but the hours are
9-5.30pm?

‘Out-of-school club’, I hear you say, ‘lots of other peoples’ kids go there!’

I have absolutely no problem with out-of-school club. My kids would probably leap with joy at the idea, too, rather than have to go home with me and do homework, set the table, tidy their rooms, visit the supermarket.

Hold up there folks! How much is this club per child, per week? Does my new job pay the same as the old one, plus this new cost? Will we have to cancel after-school activities? Will we even make it to the evening ones when we still have to cook, eat, shop, clean, and do homework?

These issues are not insurmountable, I am well aware of that. As I said, parents everywhere are juggling all of these issues and more every single day. I just want to make sure that whatever I take on next is not just swapping one set of frustrations for another.

In order to make some sense out of all the ‘what-ifs’ and ‘maybes’ in my head, I wrote a list. (For what is life if we do not have lists? I shudder at the thought.)

MOST IMPORTANT THINGS (TM)

• Picking the children up from school.
• Earning roughly the same (or preferably way, way more) than before
• Creativity
• Weekends free
• Work that is challenging

Fair enough sista, I hear you say. Or I hope you do, because I believe you to be a nice, reasonable person.

Sadly I’ve had the distinct feeling from some people in the past that they believe it is NOT reasonable to expect to find a job that allows you to pick your children up from school. And, if you do, you certainly can’t expect it to pay you well, or be creative.

The fact is, young kids need picked up from school, one way or another. It strikes me as completely hatstand that, as a society, we have we got to the point where paying someone to do it is viewed as more ‘normal’ than a working parent asking for hours that allow them to rock up to the gates themselves.

I recently read Lean In, by Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg. And flippin’ good it was too. Lots of great advice and insight about women in the workplace. However, unsurprisingly, a lot of it applied to those near the top of the career food-chain.

With a seat at the Facebook boardroom table most of us would be more than happy to say to Mark Zuckerberg ‘hey fella, I’ve got little Cosmo’s nativity this Friday at 2pm, so I’ll just work from home after that, okay?’

Not so easy if you’re serving Cosmo’s granny on the checkout at Asda, or teaching  Cosmo’s pals at a different school across town, or delivering Cosmo’s cousin in the labour ward car park.

So, while most of us can agree that it is entirely reasonable to want a job that allows you to pick your kids up from school (or go to their nativity), we can probably also agree that it’s not always practical.

So, let’s say I’ve found a job that sounds ideal. When would I ask a prospective employer about flexible hours? Before I apply and risk not being considered? At the interview, and risk not being selected? Once I’ve been offered the job, forever ending my prospects for promotion in the process? At the end of the first month after being found blubbing in the bogs over how much I miss seeing my kids after school? Never, preferring to put up and shut up?

The problem with juggling is that if you take your eye off any one of the balls for a moment, the whole lot is likely to come crashing down. That is why many people carry on in an endless cycle of frustration and exhaustion, simply because it is easier than picking up and starting again.

I haven’t figured out much in my two months off (other than the fact that it’s unlikely I’ll be able to make a living out of crocheting blankets while cakes bake in the oven and then taking pictures of both), but I have come to the conclusion that while I have no option but to juggle, I don’t want to run around like a clown in the process.