A story about women, beginning with Boy Scouts

This blog is inspired by the wonderful Lynsey over at Junction 29. 

In 1992 I didn’t know what a feminist was, but I was about to become one.

One Friday, our Girl Guide company paid a visit to the local Scout Troop in a sort of Trefoil Trading Places. It was wonderful fun. The scout hut was fit to burst with the sound of laughing and shouting, we played what seemed to this 12-year-old Guide like very dangerous games and ran around breathlessly in the freezing twilight.

I quit Guides that same evening. I was going to become a Scout.

The Scouting Association had opened its doors to girls the year before, but it was still optional for Troops and the word hadn’t yet spread as far as Perth. My well-meaning parents tried to dissuade me from asking the Scout Leader if I could join because ‘it might put him in an awkward position’.

I think that is the first time in my life that I felt the rising indignation – now all too familiar to me – that surfaces when I realise something has been placed out of my reach because I am female.

Within a week I’d set up a meeting with the leader – the wonderful Chris Kirk – and he  wholeheartedly and warmly welcomed me and some of my friends to become members of the 10th Perth Scout Troop.

I adored being a Scout. Everyone was treated exactly the same and it felt amazing. No one made a fuss about girls joining – not the boys, not the leaders. Heavy lifting, cooking, pitching tents, lighting fires, writing pantomimes, digging latrines – this was work for all of us and it felt like we could achieve anything together.

 

I hold on to that feeling now whenever I feel frustrated with the glacial pace of mankind’s progress to equality and feel like lashing out at men. There is nothing to be gained from the type of feminism that turns on men (apart from those who deserve it like, y’know, the leader of the free world) because we absolutely and completely need them in order to achieve equality. And for the continuation of our species, obvs.

I was humbled and delighted to be named in Lynsey’s list of badass women in her International Women’s Day blog, especially because she said that I ‘wave the feminist flag without hating on men’.

That is as important to me as feminism itself. Having said that, today is all about women so, just as Lynsey has done, I have come up with a list of women who inspire me every day.

MY MUM – Shelagh Barclay

Let’s kick off with the woman who brought me into the world. She is smart, warm-hearted, patient, kind and full of love. She has never said a mean thing to me – or to anyone – in all of my days on this earth. This is something I aspire to do (but never achieve). She is supportive but gave me freedom and independence to be everything I am today. Most of all, she is happy – and that is the most important thing to strive for and she set me a wonderful example. Thanks Mama.

MY SISTER – Susan Buchanan

95% of the time she is a total pain in the ass. I’m kidding! It’s about 75%. Without her I would not have learned anything about conflict resolution, negotiation or compromise. Nor would I have known the fierce and weird love that exists between siblings – you can want to punch them but you sure as hell ain’t gonna let nobody else punch them. When I was a new mum she talked me through a panic many a time and is always there for me and my kids. She is also a brave and determined stroke survivor who kicks ass.

SISTAS IN GENERAL

I have a big family. I would be here all day if I named all the inspirational women in it but my aunts, my cousin, my cousin in law, my mother in law, my sister in law and my six nieces have each taught me lessons about what it is to be a woman, to follow dreams, to work hard, to deal with heartbreak and loss and, overall, to be fiercely loyal and solid as rocks.

My friends, too, are fucking amazing. I’m actually welling up just thinking about them all. Wow. This is such a fun and positive thing to do folks, you should try it!

Without the support of my friends I would struggle to get dressed in the morning, never mind navigate the world of motherhood, work and dream-chasing. These gals are OWNING IT – nurses, risk managers, occupational therapists, broadcast journalists, social workers, home-makers, doctors, teachers, lawyers. One with kids, ones without. Ones with husbands, ones with wives, ones with cats….every single one of them is amazing.

This has gone on longer than a Paltrow Oscar speech so, quickly, here is a handful of other kick-ass broads I love.

 

Ruth Bader Ginsburg – Supreme Court Justice. She has faced down prejudice all of her days, both personally and on behalf of others. When asked how many women she considered was enough to have on the Supreme Court, she answered ‘Nine. When there are nine. There’s been nine men and no one’s ever raised any questions about that.’ BOOM.

Malala Yousafzai – activist, Nobel prize laureate

Shot by the Taliban because she wanted an education. Tireless, fearless, erudite and basically completely inspiring. In a world of Kardashians, Malala is a sparkling diamond to tell your daughters (and sons) all about. She hit the nail squarely on the head when she said ‘Extremists have shown what frightens them most. A girl with a book.’  Never stop reading, sistas!

Caitlan Moran – Journalist, writer. Tina Fey – comedian, writer. Amy Poehler – comedian, writer. Mindy Kaling – writer, actor. All of these women are funny. We need funny women. Nothing can puncture the over-inflated patriarchy like sharp satire, sarcasm and creative swearing.

My next two come from a little bit closer to home.

Holly Scanlan – Writer and hairstylist Holly is the author of the wonderful GIGI BOBS HER HAIR blog. Her writing is powerful and comes right from her heart. Her way with words is poetic and beautiful. She is totally cool and wonderfully stylish. She also has a huge heart and is doing a fantastic job of raising her daughter – another feminist and activist at the tender age of 10. Holly strives to improve herself and is constantly learning. She has a real lust for life that’s totally infectious. She also bobs my hair and I love her for that!

Professor Dame Sue Black – a true local hero. Named today as one of 2017’s Outstanding Women of Scotland, Prof Black is an internationally renowned forensic anthropologist, director of the Centre for Anatomy and Human Identification (CAHID) and co-director of the Leverhulme Research Centre for Forensic Science, both based at the University of Dundee. OWNING IT.

Even more badass, if that’s even possible, is that she’s patron of the massively positive Dundee Women in Science festival – the only one of its kind IN THE ACTUAL WORLD. Celebrating the achievements of women in STEM and encouraging young girls to follow a career in traditionally male-dominated industries.

I have been lucky enough to spend time with Sue on several occasions. She is witty, warm, engaging and supportive. She also tells my husband he’s punching above his weight so I have an extra reason to think she’s pretty damn awesome.

Finally….I couldn’t write a blog about inspiring women without mentioning my daughter. Martha Luna. She is 10 and she is THE BEST. As you might know from the blog I wrote when she turned 10, she is an epic little broad who wears a zillion colours and patterns and couldn’t give a sparkly unicorn what anyone thinks. She is unassuming and serene, but she has changed my life and she will change others, of that I am certain.

‘I alone cannot change the world but I can cast a stone across the water to create many ripples’ – Mother Theresa.

 

I’d love to know who inspires you. Please share.

Let’s lift each other up, today and every day.

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